I had a conversation with my girlfriend the other day. We were having one of our many debriefs on “How do we do it all?” without losing our minds. We were both having an issue getting the “S” back on our chests, one of those moments where the cape comes off and suddenly we are left feeling so vulnerable that we wonder “Am I capable?” If you have been there or are there now then this article is for you.
As women we often have a lot on our plates. We also live in a male dominated society that is driven by high male energy. We are taught to keep moving like a fish that will die if it stops swimming. Many work environments leave little room for self care or mental health days, and we are often made to feel guilty if we take one. Well lets pull out a small bottle of “guilt no more” and pat ourselves on the back.
We work each day for society, friends, and family, but often little for ourselves. If we cannot take care of ourselves then how can we take care of those around us? I doubt we want to replace that designer sweater with a straight jacket.
So what can we do? Well we can start by getting a hot cup of tea, girlfriends, and taking some time out to breathe deep and read these tips for a fast regeneration to get that cape back on and your lasso back on your hip.
STOP and take 5: Yes it is that simple. Just stop. How often during the day do we just unplug for 5 minutes and take a breath? Try focusing on a calming picture or just closing your eyes and imagining a peaceful scene. I was not kidding about that tea ladies. Make a cup as it is often proven to help us restore, not just the properties of it but the process of making it. Even if you have a busy mind- slowing down and focusing on just that process alone can bring a difference. Also take this time to validate that YOU NEED IT. If we can center and still the self we can move forward with less agitation, greater ease, and be more helpful to those around us.
Build a “feel good” arsenal: It helps when we take these breaks or have brief moments of overwhelm and despair that we can open up resources to help remind us of how amazing we are or validate that moment. I have feel good arsenals all over the place: a folder on my laptop, apps on my phone, folder in my email. In this arsenal I may put great reviews I have had, music (yes I made my own soundtrack), funny videos to decompress, inspirational quotes, relaxation videos or self empowerment/motivational seminars, etc. Anything to get me up and going again.
Get a Buddy: That conversation with my girlfriend was one of my tools. It gives me a sounding board, validation, and new perspective. It also helps me to have someone be my cheerleader until I can cheerlead for myself again. No time for a phone call? Make use of some technology. Send that instant message out for a quick support convo before you go on with your day. Be courageous enough to be vulnerable (one of the next articles I think we need).
Write it out: Often times our demons in our head are so loud they interfere with our positive self talk. What messages are you sending yourself? No time to write? Get out that smartphone and voice record it! Then combat those negative messages with how deliciously fabulous you are. It will also help you gain a little perspective- our outlook can change anything. Are we seeing ourselves as stuck or just in a personal revolution that is taking a little more time than we thought?
Get grumpy then get grateful: Honor whatever your emotions are at any moment and then express gratitude for what you have. Girlfriends, I am so sick of this preaching of gratitude but then we are encouraged to not be true to our other emotions that may be blocking it. Release your emotions. Put a punching bag in the office or just have some tissue on hand and some waterproof mascara. Then make a brief list of things to be grateful for in that moment, including YOU.
Make rewards! You need to reward yourself even if it is with a little bit of chocolate or a massage. Let that pleasure center in your brain know that you deserve it. We so often get bogged down in work and life that we start to feel burdened instead of joyful.
So do these quick steps during your day, especially when you want to crawl under the desk or kitchen table and hang up your cape (ok- maybe that’s just me). But above all remember that the most important thing to take care of the world with so much on our plate, is to first take care of OURSELVES. Now go strap that lasso back on ladies and take down those bad guys!